Moments In Life
by Cornmaize122
Summary: This is a collection of all the one-shots and drabbles I'm writing for my Life 'verse. They range from humorous to angsty to fluffy! The cast is a wide range of characters, including OCs. Prompts and requests from readers are appreciated.
1. Autobot Vs Human SuperComputer

Title: Autobot Vs. Human Super-Computer

Summary: Really, do I need say more?

Warnings: Complete crack, mild cussing, and a fragged off Ratchet

Author Note: This is a prompt given by **Jaacs McHenry**. I loved the idea and it made me laugh when I read it. Thank you, Jaacs!

**Remember…** This is in between Life #1 and Life #2. If anyone ones to submit a prompt in the form of simply one word or a small summary, feel free to do so!

* * *

><p>"This is impossible."<p>

"Ridiculous. This is entirely possible, Nicole."

"Not all of us are geniuses like you, Prowl."

"Please. I am not a genius, I simply have the patience and processor power to deal with the long periods of time and concentration this requires."

"Exactly; that's what a genius is."

The tactician sighed sharply. "Nicole, do not try to redirect me. I've lived with Jazz far longer than you've been alive to recognize that trick. Now, focus on the chess board and make your move."

The black-haired femme scowled but looked back to the board. After about three seconds of staring, she moved her queen. Prowl sighed again as he analyzed the board. "You left your king open."

"And?"

"That is a fatal move."

"You mean it could make me lose?"

"Yes."

Nicole sat back and crossed her arms. "Go ahead," she said, shrugging. "Put me in checkmate or whatever. I need to go meet Ironhide for training in fifteen minutes anyways, and I think I can get in a few minutes with Barricade if I leave now."

The SIC frowned, but nodded. "Alright. You can go. But I expect to you to come back tomorrow, Nicole."

Said femme had already put up the chess board and was halfway to the door when he said it. She groaned like a wounded soldier and slouched. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Oh, c'mon, Prowl! There's some genius kid in some foreign country somewhere that's just dying to play chess, and you pick me? Even _I _agree that there's a better choice than me!"

The tactician just turned back to his computer and began pulling up the last report he had been working on. "Same time tomorrow."

She grumbled as she stuck the chess set under her arm and the door slid open. "I'm not a super computer, Prowl. I don't do math equations or play solitaire and chess for fun. If you wanted that, you should've just hacked into some human super computer or asked one of the smarter bots on this base to play with you."

"This discussion is over, Nicole."

"Fine! But when you complain about me not trying it's going to be your own fault!" The doors slid shut behind Nicole, returning Prowls' office to its usual quiet.

But even several minutes after she had left, the SIC's mind was still pondering on her words.

* * *

><p>"What now?"<p>

"Level 6, section 1."

"_What?_ Ironhide, that's two whole levels above where I am now!"

"And?" The gruff warrior asked, keying in the command for the simulation room. "Weren't you just boasting that you could beat the twins' record at it?"

"Well… Yeah, but that's different."

"I'd love to hear your explanation for this one."

Nicole shifted uncomfortably on her pedes and held up one servo. "One: they have each other. Two: I meant I could beat it when I _got _to it. Three: I just don't want to do it."

Ironhide snorted and crossed his arms as he loomed over the short femme. "That's such a wonderful excuse. Almost better than the last."

The black-haired femme looked like she might stamp her pede. "Ironhide!"

"Suck it up, shortie. Let's see those superior fighting skills of yours. And no AllSpark help, either. You're gonna have to learn how to deal with fighting like every other bot."

Nicole growled something unintelligent but marched into the middle of the simulation room while Ironhide went into the small observation room. The AllSpark femme tensed as the familiar humming noise filled the air as the simulation started.

Ironhide's private comm. link suddenly pinged with Barricade's ID on it. Opening it, the black warrior prepared himself for whatever the Mustang had to say.

There was a hesitation on the other end of the link before Barricade said tiredly, ::Ironhide, Nicole's complaining to me as loud as she can over the bond.::

::Is that supposed to be my problem?::

There was a long sigh. ::Just keep her in one piece, please.::

Ironhide snorted and shut the comm. link. "That's going to be her own problem," he said happily to himself as he watched Nicole trying to dodge and shoot 3D holograms of Decepticons while running. After a moment of consideration, he started recording the training session and made a note to send it to Ratchet later.

Nicole, meanwhile, was cursing Ironhide and his creators and his creators creators as the holographic Decepticons seemed to appear out of nowhere. The blasts that the holographs shot weren't lethal, but they stung like a bee sting.

"_Damn it!_" She snarled as three more blasts managed to land on her back. Without thinking she fired off a few shots at the holograph that had fired them, making it vanish.

That's when Nicole's comm. pinged.

::What the _hell _do you want now of _all_ times?:: she snapped.

Prowl's calm, cool voice interrupted the mayhem around Nicole as she fired off another round of shots from behind her temporary shelter. ::Nicole, I was thinking over what you were saying earlier.::

::That's wonderful to hear, Prowl, but- _Ow!_ What the frag- Can I _not _call a Pit-forsaken timeout?::

The tactician went on as if he hadn't heard her. ::You are right, Nicole. It has been awhile since I had real competition in chess. So, I'm taking your advice and hacking a human super-computer.::

::And you're telling me this why?:: Out loud, Nicole stood up from behind her cover and frantically made the time-out sign to Ironhide in the observation room. The black mech laughed and said over the intercom, "There aren't time-outs in war, femme!"

"Frag you, slag-eating- OW!"

Prowl, completely unaware, continued. ::I was going to tell you thank you, and that our chess session tomorrow was cancelled.::

::Prowl, I don't give a _DAMN _about chess at the moment because Ironhide's being sadistic and trying to _kill_ me!::

::Please, Nicole.:: The SIC said flatly. ::Ironhide may sometimes have rough tendencies, but he would not intentionally try to kill you.::

::_You aren't running for your fragging life!_:: Nicole practically snarled across the line as she had to abandon cover. ::And the fragger is just sitting there and laughing at me!::

::Good day, Nicole.:: Prowl said calmly and cut the line.

Just as three Decepticons trapped her in the corner, the session timed out and all the holograms disappeared. Nicole froze in her fighting stance for a few moments before sagging in relief and falling to her knees. "Oh my _God._"

Ironhide left the observation room, walking up to her with a smug smile. "You died 38 times."

The AllSpark groaned from her position on the ground. "Good to know."

* * *

><p>A few hours later after the training session, Nicole stalked into Prowl's office scowling, feeling sore in places she hadn't knew existed. Without even announcing her arrival, she transwarped up to Prowl's desk. "What? I'm grouchy, tired, and ready to snap the next person who asks me how training went in half. Make. It. <em>Quick.<em>"

But instead of Prowl sitting in the chair behind the desk, it was Jazz, with his servos tapping rapidly at the keyboard and visor fixed on the computer screen. Prowl stood behind him also looking at the screen.

"Hey, Nicki," the silver saboteur greeted cheerily. He broke his gaze on the screen to shoot her a cheeky grin. "How'd trainin' go?"

"Frag you."

"Love ya too, Nicko," he snickered as he went back to the computer.

Prowl ignored both of them and spoke to Jazz directly. "Are you almost in?"

"Yeah, now cool yer circuits and stop ventin' down my neck."

Nicole glared at them both impatiently. "Well? Anyone going to tell me why you asked me to come here?"

Prowl looked at her with that irritatingly calm expression. "So you could make Major Lennox understand why we are hacking into Earth's best super computer."

Confusion replaced the femme's irritation. "Super computer? And Lennox isn't even here-"

"What the hell are you doing?"

Jazz snickered again. "He is now."

Said soldier strode in followed by a disgruntled looking Epps. "What do you think you're _doing_? This is against nearly every protocol- For God's sake, it's violating _international security_!"

The Autobot SIC looked down calmly at the major. "Major Lennox, I can assure you we are not doing this to harm international security."

Epps crossed his arms. "Then why_ are_ you hacking the world's best super computer, then?"

Prowl turned his cobalt blue gaze to the computer screen again and simply said, "Chess."

Nicole, still feeling thrown out of her element, transwarped down to the floor beside the two soldiers. "Um… Lennox, I think they're hacking it to play chess."

"Figure that out for yerself, Nicki?" Jazz drawled, still focused on the computer. "And I thought ya came up with this idea in the first place."

While both Lennox and Epps glared at her, the femme glared at Jazz. "Well, excuse me, but I'm still on square one here because _someone_ threw all this at me not two minutes ago!" Feeling the human soldiers glares, she added, "And I didn't even mean it!"

Sighing exasperatedly, Lennox ran his hands through his hair. "This is ridiculous. Do you know how many officials this is going to have breathing down my back when they hear about this? You- You can't just _hack_ a government super computer-"

"Sorry, Will," Jazz interrupted, sitting back with a satisfied grin, "but I just _did_."

* * *

><p>The next morning when Ratchet walked in Optimus Primes' office, he instantly knew something was wrong.<p>

The Autobot Leader looked troubled. And he _never_ looked troubled. As part of his role of leader and Prime, he didn't have time to look troubled.

Skipping straight over greetings, the CMO just sighed and plopped down in the guest chair. "Okay, what's wrong now?"

The normally stoic Optimus just stared at his desk. "I'm…not sure."

"Not sure?" Ratchet felt his already thin patience wear thinner. "How can you not _be sure_ about what's wrong?"

Finally Prime looked up to meet his gaze. "Prowl… Prowl did not turn in reports that were due this morning."

Ratchet blinked once, thinking he finally understood the meaning of 'twilight zone'. Then, "There _is _something wrong about that." Without say anything more, the CMO got up and left the Autobot leader's office just to enter the office next door.

And he did _not _expect the scene that greeted him.

The only way he could describe it was that it looked like Nicole, Taylor, and Willow had pitched camp on Prowl's desk. Along with sleeping bags, empty bowls of what he guessed had been popcorn, and other junk food sat the three femmes themselves. Taylor was sitting on her sleeping bag reading the latest People magazine, Willow was tucked her own bag playing on her phone, and Ratchet guessed that Nicole was recharging in the sleeping bag that was completely zipped up, covering her helm.

To add to the bizarre situation, Prowl was staring intently at his computer screen, still as a statue and not even pausing to glance up at the neon medic as he entered the office.

Ratchet at least had enough sense left to make sure his jaw didn't drop. Instead he went for what was going through his processor:

"What in the _Pit_ are you doing?"

Only Taylor and Willow looked up at him looking more tired than he thought healthy. Willow shrugged in her sleeping bag, her magenta hair looking disheveled. "Not real sure, actually."

Taylor sniffed. "Well, I listened unlike some people, so I _know _what we're doing."

"Fine, Ms. Know-It-All, what are we doing and why didn't you inform me seven hours ago?"

Taylor ignored her and smiled back at Ratchet. In a voice that could have been talking about the most normal thing in the world, she said, "We're watching Prowl play chess."

Ratchet felt Optimus' presence behind him, but ignored that in favor of the two humans on the desk. "Please elaborate," he deadpanned. "I'm sure you have a very interesting reason."

The blonde sucked in a deep breath. "Well-"

Willow groaned and pulled the sleeping bag over her head. "Oh, God, here we go again."

"-Prowl was trying to teach Nicole how to play chess, and I personally think that's impossible, but he said he'd try anyways, so they were playing chess yesterday and Nicole started trying to come up with all these different reasons why not to play it and one of those reasons was that there was probably- No, _definitely _a super computer smarter than her. And after awhile Prowl got to thinking and decided that he'd get Jazz to hack a super computer so he could play chess with it, and we decided that we'd stay in here and see how long it took him to beat it."

The neon medic tried to sift through that mess she called words. After trying for a few moments he gave up and scowled down at the two human girls. "How long has it been, then?"

Taylor and Willow looked at each other before looking back to Ratchet. "Um…," Willow started uncertainly, "Well, you'd have to ask Nicole that. She was here before us."

"Well then, wake her up."

Both of them shared another look before shaking their heads quickly.

Ratchet felt his irritation grow. Again he asked himself why no one ever wanted to do the easy thing and just _do as he fragging said_.

"Why not?"

"Because," Taylor said in a low voice, "she's _scary_ when you wake her up."

Willow nodded, sitting up. "Scary as hell, man."

The medic resisted the urge to roll his optics. Why did he have to do everything around here? With a small growl, he slammed his servo down flat on Prowl's desk right beside the recharging form of Nicole, making a noise that wasn't that different than a cannon shot.

Nicole was out her sleeping bag and standing in a split second, weapon systems coming online with a whine and her optics so pale they were nearly white.

It took her a few seconds to realize there wasn't any real threat. And when she did, she looked from Ratchet to Taylor and Willow and back. "What…just happened?"

"I woke you up," the neon medic said in a tart tone, shooting Taylor and Willow glares.

They were too shocked to notice. Willow's mouth was open and her skin was the color of a sheet of paper. Taylor mirrored her expression, but she had let out a small scream when Ratchet had slammed his servo on the desk.

Willow let out a shaky breath, running her hands through her magenta hair. "Jesus. I think I peed my pants." Then she sent a scowl at Ratchet. "Jerk. Warnings are called _warnings_ for a reason."

He ignored her and frowned down on Nicole, who was slowly piecing together what had happened. "How long has Prowl been playing chess on the computer?"

The femme glared at him. "You woke me up."

The medic let out a low growl that would have had other bots running and slowly repeated himself. "How long has Prowl been playing chess on the computer?"

"You _woke_ me _up_."

"I _know_ that, Nicole. Now answer the question."

The small femme pointed at him, optics smoldering. "You owe me five hours of recharge, got it?"

"Yes, I do, now just answer the fragging question!"

"Fine! He's been playing for fourteen freaking hours!"

"And has he refueled?"

Nicole crossed her arms, scowling at nothing in general. "What do you think, smartaft?"

Taylor and Willow watched in amazement as Ratchet restrained himself from grabbing the femme and shaking her. All the while he reminded himself that this was the AllSpark, and no matter how stupid, stubborn, and insolent she was, he couldn't do any of the painful things that involved his rotor saw going through his processor if it meant having an angry Mustang or a pair of vengeful adopted-creators on his servos.

And the fact that she was the giver of life for their race had something to do with it, too, he supposed.

So instead, he counted back from ten twice and let out a hiss of hot air through his vents. Resetting his optics, he scowled down at Nicole. "Nicole. My patience is on thin ice. So _please_ answer my question with a _straight _answer."

"Why should I?" She snapped back.

…Suddenly all those thoughts of all the painful things he could do with his rotor saw came back.

Before Ratchet could bring his wrath down on the femme, there was a small release of air, sounding tired but satisfied. "Done."

Every other being in the room turned to look at Prowl, who was unusually slumped in his chair with his optics dimmed. He noticed the sudden silence and looked at each of them with a questioning gaze. "What?"

Ratchet, his temper already past the boiling point, slammed his servos on the desk (narrowly missing Taylor, who squeaked in fright) and leaned across to invade Prowl's personal space. "_'What'_? Are you just deaf and blind, Prowl, or _stupid_? Did you _not_ just hear or see any of that?"

The SIC frowned and rolled his chair backwards a bit, straightening. "Ratchet, I am not stupid, nor blind or deaf. I had my audios turned off, and when I am focused on something, I rarely look away from what I am doing."

The medic let out the growl he'd been holding in this whole time. "With that _glitched_ processor of yours, did you even _consider_ refueling?"

Prowl's frown deepened. "Of course not. I was too busy playing chess to worry about refueling, Ratchet."

Whether it was the tactician's calm tone or that his sanity finally took a hike or maybe both, it finally made the medic snap. Snarling something vile about glitched mechs and stubborn AllSparks in Cybertronian, Ratchet stormed out of the SIC's office and nearly rammed into the Prime, who had been watching the entire ordeal silently from the doorway.

The Prime hummed as he watched the medic clear a path down the hall. "That went well."

Prowl nodded, standing and flicking his doorwings to work out the kinks that had formed in the time he had been sitting. "Indeed." He sent Nicole a small frown. "I cannot imagine what you did to upset Ratchet, Nicole, but I can tell it worked."

She gaped at him. "Wha- But-"

The tactician ignored her and nodded to Taylor and Willow. "Good day, ladies. I think I'm going to go refuel now." He paused as he stopped beside Optimus in the doorway. "Prime, I'll have those reports by the end of they day."

The Prime nodded, smiling. "I have no doubt you will, Prowl."

Willow spoke up just in time to stop Prowl from leaving. "Did you beat the super computer?"

The SIC smiled the smallest of smiles. "Of course. What did you expect?" And with a final flick of a doorwing, he continued down the hall to the Rec room.

Taylor grinned. "I think we should get solitaire installed in Prowl's computer."

Willow snickered. "Don't give him ideas, blondie. Now start helping me clean this up." She stood up and snapped her fingers at Nicole. "Stop sulking and help us."

Nicole was glaring at where Prowl had disappeared, arms crossed. "I feel so scandalized right now."

Optimus Prime chuckled at the femme's expression. "Don't think too much of it, Nicole. I think Prowl was just kidding."

"Prowl? Kidding? Those words don't fit in the same sentence."

Taylor elbowed Nicole in the side as she rolled up her sleeping bag with a smile. "I'm serious about solitaire, Nicki."

"Don't even think about it, Taylor."

* * *

><p>Right… Okay, so it was very <em>long <em>one-shot. But I write long one-shots.

I hope you liked it, Jaacs!

Leave a review on your way out, please. :)


	2. Alone Time

Title: Alone Time

Summary: On the Autobot base, one of the hardest things to come by is alone time with your bondmate. Fortunately (or in Lennoxs' case, unfortunately), Nicole figures out how to just that.

Warnings: tiniest bit of cussing, fluff, crack

Pairings: Nicole(OC)/Barricade

Author Note: This really came to me when I was thinking about summertime. It seemed like a fun, quick little one-shot to write to help me with my writer's block. Again. ;)

* * *

><p>Jazz sighed, offlining his visor as he felt waves of irritation, confusion, and worry radiate through their bond. Over the bond, he asked, Okay, Prowler, what's botherin' ya now?/

His bondmate didn't respond for a few moments, but eventually said in a flat tone, /Please report to the command center, Jazz./

The saboteur grumbled slightly to himself as the tactician pulled out of the bond and set down the report he had been doing. Mumbling to himself as he left his office, he muttered, "I actually want ta get my reports done for once and he fraggin' tells me to stop what I'm doin' ta come down ta the command center…"

* * *

><p>The TIC blinked behind his visor, not sure he understood what he just thought he heard. "<em>What?<em>"

Prowl was glaring up at the giant screen like it was the screen's fault that they were in the mess they were in. On the screen it showed the flight path of a NEST plane that went up the Pacific Ocean from South America, where suspected Decepticon sightings had been reported. A team of NEST soldiers had been sent with Ironhide, Barricade, Hound, and Inferno to investigate. They had smoked out a secret Decepticon hideout where they had been harvesting resources and had been on their way back... Except the flight path stopped about 900 miles from the coast of Guatemala, in the middle of the ocean.

The SIC sighed, doorwings flicking in irritation. "The plane crashed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean."

Jazz recovered from his shock enough to get his processor back on track. "Primus, was anyone hurt? And why did it go down in the first place?"

"No, no one was hurt. In fact, all of them appeared back on base before the plane crashed. And the reason it went down… Well, Nicole."

The silver saboteur stared at him. "Ya're kiddin'. She wasn't even _on _the plane, how'd she crash it? And how did they just reappear-"

Prowl shot him a sideways glance. "Apparently, Nicole transwarped to the plane and transwarped each member of the team back to base, _including_ the pilot. The only one she did not transwarp was Barricade. After she transwarped everyone back to base and transwarped herself to the plane again, it flew for another 50 miles until reaching a small, uninhabited, uncharted island where it crashed."

Jazz continued to stare at him. "So ya're tellin' me she hijacked a plane to commit suicide and took her mate with her at the same time."

The tactician looked back to the screen. "No, they are still _very _much alive. About thirty minutes ago, she sent us a message."

"Message?"

Prowl pulled up an image as he went on. "Lennox is, as the humans say, having kittens. He threatened to send F-22's to bomb the island. The U.S. officials are also raising trouble about the matter. Optimus is in a meeting with them right now trying to calm them down."

Jazz stared at the message on the screen, which was actually an image of letters carved into bright white sand.

_Dear Autobot Base,_

_Don't worry about us, we're perfectly fine on our little slice of paradise. Prowl, I know what you're thinking. I didn't do this to make trouble, I did it to get some fragging _alone _time with Barricade. You people/bots don't know the meaning of 'alone', I swear. So I'll take whatever punishment you dish out when we get back. …Which won't be for about a week or so. Thank Jazz for giving me the idea. My comm.'s turned off, so good luck trying that! And if you send someone after us, I swear there will be _HELL_ to pay._

_On that loving note, adios suckers!_

_Love, _

_Nicole, you're favorite AllSpark_

_P.S. We didn't damage the plane _too_ much._

Jazzs' jaw dropped. "That little fragger…"

Prowl turned to look down at him, that stern look on his faceplates already. "Jazz. Did you tell Nicole to hijack a government plane to get 'alone time' with Barricade?"

The TIC looked from him, back to the message, and back to Prowl. Then quickly said, "No."

The tactician continued to give him _that _look.

Jazz began to get flustered, processor unhelpfully telling him how much trouble he'd be in until Nicole got back. He threw his arms up in exasperation. "I was _kiddin'!_ I didn't actually think she'd go crash a fraggin' _plane_ on a deserted island when I joked about how she could get alone time with Barricade…" He trailed off as his mate continued to give him that look.

With a huff, Jazz crossed his arms and turned to glare at the message sulkily. "It ain't my fraggin' fault that she's the only one 'round here who listens ta me. …Damn, I am goin' ta whip her aft when she gets back…"

* * *

><p><em>Faraway on a deserted island (alone)…<em>

Two figures close to each other lay in the sand, staring up at the starry night sky. A few feet away sat a Mustang GT that nearly blended in the shadows. The slighter, smaller figure of the two shifted, scooting closer to her companion and bondmate's holoform.

"Barricade?"

"Mmm?

"I think we should do this more often."

* * *

><p>Well… How was it?<p>

Reviews are love. ^_^


	3. Parking Lot

Title: Parking Lot

Summary: "Nicole, remember who we're dealing with here?"

Warnings: Crack. Lots of it.

Pairings: Nicole(OC)/Barricade, Willow(OC)/Sideswipe

Author Note: This seriously _has _happened to me. No fragging joke. On a side note… This probably will be the last thing I post for a while, people. Sorry. Education calls. T-T Happy Easter! Hope yours was a bit more fantastic than mine…

* * *

><p>"Are you absolutely sure-"<p>

"_Yes,_ I am! Sideswipe that if you were facing the front of Wal-Mart, they would be parked on the right side of the parking lot!"

Barricade's engine rumbled loud enough to startle a few pedestrians walking in the parking lot of Wal-Mart. "Nicole, we've been driving around for fifteen minutes on the right side of the parking lot. We've been to the other side of town to pick up Taylor's cold medicine. Sideswipe and Willow have been in Wal-Mart for forty-five minutes just to get- Frag, I don't even _remember._ Are you sure they said they'd wait for us here?"

The dark-haired femme slammed her servo down on his dash, optics glowing dangerously bright. "_YES_, damn it! I'm absolutely sure!"

Barricade's holoform shot her a doubtful glare. "I don't believe you. You probably heard him wrong."

"I swear, with Primus and God as my witnesses, that he said they'd wait for us on the _right _side of the parking lot." Nicole scowled. "He probably lied to me, the little slagging Pit spawn-"

"Nicole," Barricade said suddenly, "remember who we're dealing with?"

His bondmate went silent, thinking over the meaning of that sentence. Coming to the same conclusion, she scowled out the windshield again. "Sideswipe is an idiot."

"I think we reached that conclusion a long time ago," Barricade muttered as he pulled back into the parking lot of Wal-Mart again, passing the right side and driving over to the left side and turning into the first lane.

Sure enough, there in the first few parking spaces a silver Corvette was parked. Sideswipes' holoform was leaning against the side while Willow stood a few feet away, shielding her eyes from the afternoon sun as she searched the parking lot. In her hand she held a clear plastic bag with a small goldfish swimming around in it.

When Barricade pulled into the available space beside them, Sideswipe asked in a slightly annoyed tone, "What took you so long?"

"_Us?_" Nicole slammed her door shut and walked around Barricade's front bumper to glare at the silver twin and Willow. "_We _were looking for _you!_ What took _you_ so long?"

Willow held up her bag, smiling at the goldfish swimming around inside. "Well, when we first went in there we couldn't remember what we went in for. So we walked around for awhile, thinking we might remember, but we didn't. We ended up wandering into the Pet department and spotting this cute little guy." She held the goldfish up in Nicole's face. "Isn't he cute? His name is Swimmy!"

The AllSpark femme stared at the goldfish that stared back blankly. "Idiots. I am surrounded by idiots."

Barricade ignored both of them to walk up to Sideswipe, standing a few inches taller than the frontliner. He glared down at the silver twin. "Sideswipe, hold up your right hand."

The frontliner looked down at his hands uncertainly, glancing between both of them. Then he looked up and grinned, holding up his left hand.

Barricade smacked him on the side of his holoform's head. "You _idiot._ That's your left hand, not your _right_."

The silver twin looked confused. "What? I've had it wrong this whole time?"

The Mustang only shook his head in disgust as he got back into his driver's seat. "Willow, get in the car."

Sensing that it would be wise to keep her mouth shut, the green-haired woman started to get in Sideswipes' passenger seat.

Nicole seemed to think something over before stepping closer to Sideswipe's alt form. She pointed to a spot on his hood. "Sides, you've got a scratch right there."

He leaned forward and squinted. "I don't see-"

With reflexes too fast for the human eye to see, Nicole slammed Sideswipe's head against his own hood, leaving a good size dent.

Willow bust out laughing in the passenger's seat while clutching her goldfish bag to her chest as the AllSpark femme walked back to Barricade's alt mode like nothing had happened. Sideswipe was bent over, holding his head and cursing Nicole in Cybertronian. Looking up, he yelled at her, "These holoforms feel pain too, you know!"

Nicole didn't even look back. "I know. That's why I did it in the first place."

Willow continued to grin as Sideswipe got into the driver's side groaning. He glared at her. "I thought you were my girlfriend."

She laughed, leaning across to plant a kiss on his holoforms' forehead. "I am, but I'm going to laugh when something like that happens, no matter who it's happening to. Friend, enemy, or boyfriend."

* * *

><p>And they never remembered what they went to Wal-Mart for... ;)<p> 


	4. Aboard the ARK Part 1

**So... I feel TERRIBLE about not updating Life. But my inspiration has been more Avengers based lately... (Seriously, if you haven't already, go watch it; it got me hooked) However, I do have a new TF story waiting to be written. The plot and everything is fixed, I just need to get it down on my PC. Which is hard to do without inspiration. :( **

**But since I felt bad about not updating in literally forever, I was going to put this up. I wrote this awhile back and have the second part also done. I'm working on the third. The second part won't be up for a couple of weeks since I want to space it out. But this won't be multi-chapter. It's just a one-shot that would be extremely long if I wrote it in one go, so it's in several parts. :) **

**So enjoy.**

**ALSO. I have an INSTAGRAM! I post pics of pretty much anything and everything, from funny texts between my friends, to my cat, to clouds, and everything else. :) Follow me psyche_102. **

**And I have a KIK. Feel free to ask me anything about everything. :) Also at psyche102. **

**FUN FACT: I wrote this before I even finished the first Life! :D**

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><p>Aboard the ARK: Part 1<p>

Nicole POV

I heard a small rough groan under me. "Primus… What in the Pit just happened?"

I coughed, clearing my vents, before tapping the metal walls surrounding me. "Let me out, 'Cade, and maybe I can tell you."

"Sorry." Barricade uncurled his servos, allowing me to stretch out from my curled-ball position.

Squinting as my optics adjusted, I sat up. Well, wherever we were, it was bright. A quick look up confirmed that the bright light was the sun. Looking around us, I quickly started taking in my surroundings. It looked to be some sort of desert, with the occasional shrub and rock formation.

Oh, and there was a road.

Not a paved road, but a dirt road that looked as if it had been worn into the ground from use.

That last thing I remembered was sitting on Barricade's shoulder in Prowl's office while they discussed important stuff that my attention span was too short to keep up with. My comm. had flared to life, and it was Ironhide asking if I could help him do inventory in the armory. After a small whining session from yours truly, he had told me to get the frag over there or he'd come after me himself. So, I started to transwarp away. ...Only, something went wrong. There was a hard jerking feeling, and I remember hearing both Prowl and Barricade shout something. Then Barricade's servos came up to grab me from his shoulder as everything turned too bright and his fingers curled around me like a protective cage. The jerking feeling intensified, and I had that same sensation you get when riding one of those fair rides that goes around and around in circles. Next thing I knew, gravity returned and here we were, in the middle of nowhere.

"Nicole," the Mustang under me rumbled. "Can I get up now?"

I grinned down at my mate, who was looking quite dusty and irritated. "I don't know. Can you?"

With a small growl he sat up, abruptly knocking me off his chestplates and onto the ground. "Hey!" I snapped as I landed roughly on the ground. "That was uncalled for!"

Barricade ignored me, instead looking around. "Where the frag are we?"

"How should I know? What I really think you should be asking is, 'Nicole, are you okay?' But, nooooo."

"Nicole, are you okay?"

"Just peachy. You dumped me in a pile of dirt, so I'm wonderful."

"This whole planet is made of dirt, Nicki dearest," Barricade shot back, using Jazz's newest nickname for me. "And I'm alright, if you're wondering."

"Barricade, are _you_ alright?"

Again, I was ignored.

The black and white mech heaved himself up, hydraulics hissing. He stayed upright for a total of three seconds before wobbling and falling back down, clutching his helm. "Slag."

"What's wrong?" I asked, now genuinely concerned.

Barricade winced. "My damn helm hurts and my recalibration chips are all fragged up."

"So, what? You can't walk?"

"Not without falling over like I'm overcharged."

"Can you transform?"

"Probably, but I doubt I'd be able to drive in a straight line unless you drove, and you don't even have a license."

"_That _is not my fault." Before he could comment on my driving again, I held my hands up. "Besides, we don't even know where the hell we are."

Barricade looked around, still sitting down. "We're in a desert."  
>"Brilliant observation, genius."<p>

He went on. "The base is in a desert. So maybe we're not that far away."

I stood up, feeling smug when I didn't fall over. _My _recalibration chips were messed up…though I could feel one Pit of a processor ache coming on. Pointing over at one of the large rock formations sticking out of the ground, I shook my head. "The base doesn't have rocks that big surrounding it. Is your GPS working?"

"No. Yours?"

"Nope. In fact, all my programs are shut down. Basically the only thing I can do is use my AllSpark powers and weapons system."

Barricade rumbled lowly, glaring at an unfortunate rock. "Frag this all."

"Exactly what I was thinking," I muttered.

The Mustang finally stopped burning a hole in the rock and instead started to draw in the sandy-dirt with one claw. "So we just wait here? For what?"

Sighing, I stared at the lazy clouds drifting across the sky. "I _could _disperse a lot of AllSpark energy, and, if you're right about us being close to base, then it'd show up on scanners. And, _voila_, instant pickup."

"There's a major flaw in that plan, Nicole."

I groaned out loud, all but stamping my foot in the dust. "There's always _something_ with my plan. All of you just _love_ to point out how much of an _idiot _I am. So what is it _now?_"

Barricade smiled one of those quick, little smiles I loved, before saying, "The Decepticons have scanners, too."

"….Oh," I said intelligently as the pieces clicked together.

"Exactly."

Again, I sighed, realizing what our only option was. "I'm going to have to transwarp both of us, aren't I?"

"I'm afraid so, sweetspark."

With a small growl, I kicked a poor stick on the ground. "I _hate _that. It drains me. Why the frag do you have to be so huge?"

"Why do you have to be so tiny?"

"Don't even _think _of turning this back on me-"

Before I could finish, the distinct sound of a powerful jet engine filled the air. Instantly, both of us looked to the sky. Three jets flew overhead, one of them red, white, and blue, another blue, and the last purple and black.

My processor kicked in, putting the connections together instantly:

Blue jet=Thundercracker

Purple and black jet=Skywarp

The third jet I didn't recognize, and without my scanners functioning, I couldn't tell who it was. Which also meant I couldn't tell if they were actually 'Cons or just someone with very colorful jets that happened to look like a few Decepticons I knew. For the briefest of seconds, I wondered if maybe Megatron had gotten tired of Starscream and had him replaced with a red, white, and blue Seeker. That might actually be good…

Barricade growled lowly, obviously recognizing the similarity between the blue and purple jets. I shrugged, still watching the jets. "Who knows? Maybe they're just some humans."

My mate shot me a look that said, _Wanna bet?_

We watched as they zoomed over our heads, tiny colored dots in the sky. My hopes rose as they continued to travel in the direction they had originally been going.

Annnnnnd my hopes were squashed as the jets suddenly pulled a hard left and shot straight towards us, descending at a rapid pace.

Barricade suddenly cursed and started to stand again. " 'Cade, what is it? You need to stay down," I said as my weapons system powered up with a small whine.

He grimaced as he tried and failed to stand. "There's no pilot in the cockpits of either of those jets _and _they have Decepticon insignias."

"Well," I muttered, "slag."

Barricade was still struggling to get up when we heard a noise that was all too familiar: the sound of a Transformer transforming. Three small earthquakes shook the earth as the three now-standing jets landed. Each one of them had wings, like a Seeker, and each one of them had a null ray pointed at us.

The tri-colored mech stepped forward scowling down Barricade, completely ignoring me. "I've never seen this Autobot before. Who are you?"

Both me and Barricade winced. This dude had one _high-pitched _voice. And it was…familiar… But I immediately shot back, "Who are you?"

Finally, the mech glared down at me. "_Silence_, fleshie. Run away before I think about destroying you-"

"Uh, Starscream," the purple jet interrupted, giving me a bizarre look, "that's not a fleshie."

I felt that tingling sensation go over me, proving that I was being scanned. Which just made me angry. Seriously, why does everyone just go around scanning people without fragging _asking_?

And then I stopped short.

_Starscream?_

My control on my emotions started to waver.

'Starscream' shot a glare at the purple jet. "Skywarp, don't interrupt me!"

The control started to slip more, and I barely noticed Starscream turn his gaze to me. "If you aren't a human, what are you?"

The blue jet, who I now assumed was Thundercracker, just stared at me impassively. "She has a spark signature."

_Oh, Primus,_ I thought. They all sounded _exactly_ like the Command Trine that I knew, but didn't look like them.

More of my control fell away.

I was caught up in my growing panic, so when the new-Starscream suddenly moved towards me, servo outstretched, I reacted too late.

But Barricade didn't.

With a savage snarl that I only heard when he was tearing down 'Cons or seriously pissed off, my mate jumped at Starscream, swiping his claws across his faceplates. "_Don't slagging touch her!_"

Aww, 'Cade. Tearing mechs faceplates off for me.

The tri-colored mech screeched, lifting a servo to his now bleeding _pink_ Energon faceplates and aiming again for my sparkmate with his wingmates. Instantly, I transwarped in front of Barricade and summoned a shield of AllSpark energy between us and the null ray blasts. Since the first time I had formed a force field for Prowl during that one battle when I was still human, I had gotten better at blocking attacks. I silently thanked Prowl for forcing me into all those sessions to exercise my AllSpark powers.

There was silence as smoke billowed around us. I wondered briefly if I could drop the shield when the smoke cleared to reveal the three mechs, who I just now realized had Decepticon insignias on their wings. They stared at us in what was a mixture of shock and fury, before Starscream stepped forward angrily. "How-"

He didn't get any further, because a laser beam shot him dead on in the faceplates.

And neither Barricade nor I fired it.

"Autobots, attack!" An all-too-familiar voice shouted.

Barricade and I just watched in shock as several vehicles ranging from sports cars to a slagging_ ambulance_ transformed into mechs and aimed their weapons at the three Seekers. Thundercracker and Skywarp hurriedly grabbed Starscream, who was stumbling around blind and shouting insults, and took to the sky, shouting their own insults and throwing back their own shots.

Numbness spread through me as the shots died down to be followed by cheers. Afraid of what I'd see, I turned around slowly with Barricade.

Two black and white mechs, one with an achingly familiar visor and audio horns and the other with doorwings that reminded me too much of a certain SIC, stood on either side of a giant red and blue mech with a facemask.

The big red and blue mech leaned down at bit to stare each of us in the optics. "My name is Optimus Prime and we are the Autobots. May I ask who you are?"

I blinked, mouth opening and closing as my poor processor tried to understand what was happening.

/Nicole/, Barricade suddenly said flatly through our bond, /I don't think we're in Nevada anymore./

His statement said it _all._

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><p><strong>Yep. That's it.<strong>

**Remember, I love feedback. :)**


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